I am aware that this counts for virtually nothing, but I think the new Clash of the Titans earns a few points for not trying too hard. There’s no attempt to turn mythology on its head, no effort to “modernize” the story beyond the obvious special effects upgrades. There’s something almost traditional about how straightforward this story is. The “hero” is motivated solely by vengeance and lets his stubborn refusal to accept his demi-godhood effectively cost the lives of the “great men” who fight along side him. There’s a shortage of redeemable characters: from callous, casually genocidal gods to hubristic and/or cowardly humans. There are few excessive explanations trying to rationalize the existence of gods or the supernatural, and we have little reason to sympathize with the human cause to wage war against the gods. Did the gods stop providing fish to the fisherman because the prayers stopped, or did the prayers stop because the gods neglected their creation? Doesn’t really matter, man and god were destined to be at odds in mythology.
Now, I’m convinced that almost all of this is a result of bad writing and poor plot pacing, but nonetheless, points scored, even if by mistake.
As a film though, the best I can say for the new Clash is that it’s unremarkable, yet inoffensive. It doesn’t get the Spring Blockbuster season off to a notable start, but at least it’s not in league with Ghost Rider or 10,000 B.C. as a movie so bad it makes you lose faith in the entire movie season.
There are a few pointless or flat out bad elements to Clash. Sam Worthington as Perseus is so wooden he should take out restraining orders against lumberjacks and carpenters just to be safe. He’s also rocking a buzz-cut even though I’m pretty sure electric clippers didn’t exist in ancient Greece.
No wonder even the blind hags want him...
Pegasus is black for no damn reason whatsoever. The Medusa character was apparently created as the F/X budget was nearing exhaustion. The male and female leads almost shared a first kiss in the lower deck of Charon’s ferry while crossing the River Styx and atop the scattered coinage of the damned (in all fairness, I’m still not sure if that’s terrible or awesome). And then there’s the completely dissatisfying, clumsy and conspicuous Sequel Hook ending that makes the entire story seem pretty damn pointless.
On a side note, at the end of the film people in my theater applauded. Which is sort of sad. I mean to make no judgment of you as a person if you applauded this film when the credits finally rolled, but I’m compelled to say that applauding Clash of the Titans as though it were a grand entertainment spectacle is like adoring Pizza Hut pastas as an Italian delicacy. Relax, the highest compliment this film should receive is that it’s passable. That is all.
