The ads for the upcoming Kick-Ass, beginning with the first trailers, have proclaimed that the characters in Kick-Ass have no superpowers. Superpowers are unnecessary for ordinary citizens to fight crime, profess the commercials! And I know, I promise I know that the movie is tongue-in-cheek and not meant to be taken seriously, but nonetheless there’s an obvious attempt to subvert the “coolness” of superpowers by claiming the characters in this movie are just regular folks who take a stand, put on some silly costumes and take down crime. And I’m calling shenanigans…
*picks up phone – dials – waits for two rings before someone answers*
“Hello?”
“Hello, have I reached Shenanigans?”
“Yes you have.”
“Outstanding. I wanted to call you guys about this new movie Kick-Ass, which claims to not have super-powered characters.”
“Go ahead, my man.”
“Well, I’m willing to grant that the lead actor and the cat who played McLovin and maybe even Nic Cage’s character may not have powers, but you’re not going to tell me that the Hit-Girl character didn’t get bit by a radioactive ninja-gymnast or something. She’s 11-years-old and she’s running up walls, throwing knives like an impalement artist and swinging swords like a Ghostface Killah verse came to life.”
“Does that last simile even make sense?”
“Does a grade-schooler killing a room full of gangsters with her deft martial-arts skills make any kind of sense unless she’s super-powered? Even in an action-comedy written by the master of faux-edgy puerile fiction, Mark Millar?”
“Ssss… I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that slight shot at Mr. Millar.”
“She’s got powers! Even it’s just the power of ‘ass-kicking,’ which doesn’t sound quite so ridiculous when you consider that the villain-protagonist character in Millar’s Wanted had a superpower that was just killing.”
“Sir, I can hear the italicization in your voice, and it concerns me. I’m hanging up now. Don’t call here again.”
“This isn’t ov–!”
