Okay, that’s obviously not all, but only because “outstanding” is not quite super enough of a superlative to describe God of War‘s first (and only?) installment on the PS3. Neither is “epic.” Oh no. God of War makes the word epic feel inadequate and unsure of itself. Epic was the coolest kid in school–star quarterback and star pupil–until God of War jumped a ramp on its motorcycle into the third floor of a burning building to save a group of children and emerged unscathed, leaving “epic” to hang its head and walk away knowing that scoring touchdowns and being on the honor roll can’t compete with that.

I’ve never really played a series that made “more of the same” feel so utterly captivating and intense. I mostly enjoyed Bioshock 2, but ultimately felt a bit let down by it given how much I loved the first game. The Final Fantasy series has just lost me, as the character models and indeterminate “vibe” of the latest games feels like redundancy wrapped in pretty, translucent packaging.

I think the sheer scale of God of War leaves you little recourse save to surrender to its majesty. The good gents at Penny Arcade! summed up the opening of God of War 2 perfectly…

God of War III begins with you fighting enemies while riding the back of a Titan as it scales Mount Olympus to combat the gods. Very soon you are doing battle with a Leviathan summoned by Poseidon (while still riding the Titan) before directly and brutally assaulting the sea god himself. I’m at a loss to find a proper hypothetical scenario to compare it to. It is equivalent to itself alone.

I hardly mean to say that God of War III is the “best game EVAH,” or even the best game I’ve played within the last twelve months. Uncharted 2 gave me similar levels of joy without any of the awkward events that inspire questions like “Did I really have to kill that gratuitously topless woman in Poseidon’s temple when using the dead body of an enemy would have worked just as well?” and “Are they really offering Kratos a chance to get naked with Aphrodite who is at the very least his great aunt?” Of course, when you consider the kind of craziness that occurred in actual stories from Greek mythology, the above moments are relatively tame. Neither here nor there, though. As a game, God of War III is clearly excellent. Beyond that, it is a successful experiment in interactive indulgence and grandiosity.

Restraint be damned. Damned and subsequently drawn, quartered, immolated and Kratos knows what else…